


Never what you deserve

by vampiric_mcd



Category: American Idol
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Dark, M/M, Partner Betrayal, hurt!kris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-21
Updated: 2010-06-21
Packaged: 2017-10-10 05:28:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/96088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampiric_mcd/pseuds/vampiric_mcd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It might have been the first time – it might not have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never what you deserve

  
  
  
  
  


**Entry tags:**

| 

  
[adam lambert](http://vampiric-mcd.livejournal.com/tag/adam%20lambert), [airps](http://vampiric-mcd.livejournal.com/tag/airps), [americanidol](http://vampiric-mcd.livejournal.com/tag/americanidol), [angst](http://vampiric-mcd.livejournal.com/tag/angst), [betrayal](http://vampiric-mcd.livejournal.com/tag/betrayal), [bradam](http://vampiric-mcd.livejournal.com/tag/bradam), [cheating](http://vampiric-mcd.livejournal.com/tag/cheating), [fic](http://vampiric-mcd.livejournal.com/tag/fic), [fiction](http://vampiric-mcd.livejournal.com/tag/fiction), [hurt!kris](http://vampiric-mcd.livejournal.com/tag/hurt%21kris), [kradam](http://vampiric-mcd.livejournal.com/tag/kradam), [kris allen](http://vampiric-mcd.livejournal.com/tag/kris%20allen)  
  
  
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Title: Never what you deserve  
Pairings: Kris/Adam, Brad/Adam  
Fandom: American Idol  
Summary: It might have been the first time – it might not have been.  
Rating: R(?)  
Word count: 660  
Warnings: dark, angst, partner betrayal, cheating  
Disclaimer: this is fiction  
A/N: first RPS I've ever written.

  


_Well they let you down  
Fallen angel, upon the ground  
And they filled you all up with drugs  
Then one day you just gave it up_

You're a shining star  
Hotels, airports and mini bars  
And you lived your life by the book  
Then one day you just gave it up

And you, you never get what you deserve, not you  
On a life support machine

Life was dealt an awful hand  
It didn't end as planned  
It started off so well  
It started off so well

  
"You never get what you deserve by Starsailor"

Kris didn't quite know what to do. It seemed that all he could do was watch. Watch how Adam thrust roughly into Brad – like he was starving for it. Like he wasn't killing Kris slowly second by second. Like the obvious affection and joy between Adam and Brad together in Kris and Adam's bed didn't rip Kris apart.

It might have been the first time – it might not have been. It probably wasn't, judging by the ease they displayed. It didn't really matter though, because Adam apparently wasn't his after all.

Kris wondered if he ever had been – or if Kris only ever had him in loan from Brad. If Kris hadn't been deluding himself all this time. The thought was sobering and hurt more than Kris thought possible.

He remembered all the hurt and media frenzy they had gone through. He wondered if it was worth it. Not because he came out as bi, but because he had thought it didn't matter since Adam was his. And yet it seemed he wasn't.

He wondered if he would continue to feel so empty and ill. If he would ever feel happy again. Because surely no one could feel happy again when they felt like this – heart torn out and world destroyed. A fucking cliché and so very stupid of him to think he was ever going to be anything other than second best. So fucking naïve and dumb.

Brad noticed him first.

"Kris." He half gasped and moaned, voice breaking on the thrust that Adam made. It made Kris laugh because somewhere somehow that should be funny. It was so hysterically funny he cried.

He left – not caring about the commotion – not caring about Adam calling after him. Kris got into his car and drove away. He didn't know where he was going until he pulled up at the Hilton. He decided then and there that he'd call a moving company in the morning.

He never wanted to set foot inside their house again. He never wanted to lay eyes on Adam or Brad or any of Adam's friends again. He'd never been 'on' like they were. He'd never been accepted. He'd always been the straight guy Adam brought home. He'd always been aware of the sneers and sniggers and wondered how unfair it had been to be an outcast with them. A kind of irony that hurt more than he admitted to Adam even when it depressed him at times.

  
He couldn't help but wonder if they all knew about Adam and Brad. If they knew and just laughed at Kris because it was what they did – who they were. Separate from Kris, only connected because of their mutual connection to Adam.

Well, no more.

And Kris tried to ignore the hollow awful feeling inside of himself, threatening to suffocate him completely. Tomorrow had to be better, because it couldn't get any worse. The hurt and betrayal inside of himself yawned wide open. He trembled and walked to the bed. He sat down for a moment – the absurdness making him feel as out of his depth as he had ever been. Kris laid down on a red down comforter and hated the soft feel of it. He clenched his fingers into it – screamed into it until he was hoarse. He finally let himself go completely – his body shaking hard.

Tomorrow surely couldn't be worse.

  



End file.
